Wednesday, November 11, 2015
It begins with my negative mood these days. As you know from my previous posts, recently are just not the days for me as seems like all the things are not going the way I planned. It was a public holiday yesterday (10.11.2015, Deepavali or Diwali) and I am bored. Deciding not to stay in the room for whole day, I get myself up, dressed up and decided to go for lunch outside and may be catch a movie.
And so, everything's ready and I drive out. The sky getting dark and it seems to be raining soon. "Luckily I was driving." I though to myself and when I get to the mall, guess what happened. The stupid boom gate at the mall entrance did not work! The car in front of me was stuck for like 10 minutes before the guard came and ask us to reverse our cars and use another entrance. What a great turn off.
And so again, I reversed my car and it started to rain. Due to the frustration, I decided to head to McDonald's drive thru to settle my lunch and crouch potato for the rest of the day and this is how my boring holiday ended. What a bad luck!
I really found myself in depression. Lots of things are going opposite of the way I wish it to be. Yes, sometime its my own principle that holding me back from trying to do something which against it, but I am too familiar with this feeling. Its not good at all.
May be I shall came out from living in the past. Accept whatever that has became a truth and moved on.
And here it end of my grumpy posts. At least. I hope.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Yeap, I knew I hope this would be a positive post from my previous posting, but well.. sorry! it seems to me that this will be another grumpy, negative post, hopefully it will be ended after tonight.
I wished for a change. I really really did and I have put in much efforts in it. Notwithstanding that efforts have been put in, but the result is simply not just as what I expected.
I tried to be optimistic, but each and every time the reality just turn me into pessimistic. That feeling sucks right?
At least I tried and there is nothing to lose? I though to myself. Yet, the result still matters to me. I noticed that I tend to isolate myself during this period in order to spread the negative feeling around.
It is harder than I though and somehow I think I failed that. Even people around me senses that something is not right in me. May be I was never a good pretender as I though. I just wrote whatever I felt on my face although I am trying hard to hide the disappointment.
lead me please!