Tuesday, October 30, 2012

are you happy?

honestly.. are you happy now? if you are.. could you share some for me? =/

Tell me.. who doesn't want to have feel happy at all time? i do know that in our life we have ups and downs..  but my feel was so blue recently.. for quite a long time..

things happened for reasons.. same goes to me.. i knew what caused that.. but i am doubt that do i have the ability to overcome it now.. timing is just.. not right.. yeap.. wrong timing..

but aside from that.. i still able to show my happy face when being together with my colleagues and friends.. i will still talk a lot.. joke around.. and laugh for some jokes which shared by them.. but deep in my heart i know i am some sort of pretending.. quite pathetic huh? i can only be myself and off the mask when being together with my buddies.. but everyone seems not so free and having their own problems also.. hmm.. such a coincident.. right?

i know i sounds blue and grayish.. but i just wish that i could release it here.. sometime i just wish that i could take off the mask.. off the light.. and off to slumberland easily.. but it seems so hard for me now..

cheer me up.. would you? =/


Sunday, October 28, 2012

My wonder.. my ponder.. part 9..

Watched one short video "The Last" which produce by Wang Fu Production on one of my reading list..

Hmm.. i like the way the author who trying to relate love/relationship with 5 "w" we learn during primary school time.. who, what, when, where and why.. and i like the ending that he link all the five "w" to current one..

Frankly speaking.. there are once i though she will be "The Last" for me.. but as time goes she only left me with why.. for so much times i asked myself why..

So does it really exist nowdays..? I dunno.. there is a story saying that people in old times cherish everything they have.. what broken wasn't throw but fixed.. that is why the relationship can be last..

Anywhere.. thanks for sharing the video.. =) wish you all the best in finding your way to "The Last" that belongs with you..

We can be disappointed.. but we can't lose hope..

Good luck.. to myself.. and good night.. really have to get into sleep already or otherwise i will become more emo.. =\

Some memories are just meant to be kept..

This is gonna be a long post without any photos/picture/..

okay.. this is the "something" which i wish to write about it last Sunday.. well it all started with a massage form you which i never expect it would become truth so soon..

just a couple of weeks before.. i received you reply that.. uncle was pass away.. well.. i was blank when i knew that.. i never expect things could happen so soon.. the last time i met him was January this year and he still looks good despite for getting slimmer and hair drop after the chemotherapy..

I was shocked.. it was just like happened out of sudden.. was decided to attend the funeral to pay my last respect to uncle.. After breaking up i always wish to find a time to meet with uncle and auntie to thanks them personally for taking care of me during the time i stayed in Ipoh.. they do let me have feel of "home" as i was studying far away from home. During that time i never know or expect that, the next time i went to Ipoh is for attending funeral.. hmm..

so I contacted your besty, as i does not really want to go alone.. but too bad.. she has to work and i couldn't think of anybody else.. and was somehow in dilemma whether i should or shouldn't attend.. but in the end i still decided to go.. for not leaving myself to have a chance to regret in the future..

so after Friday's working, on saturday morning.. i was on my way to Ipoh.. a place that I would never expect to come back again so soon for such purpose.. hmm.. a few mistake happened, which caused me unable to attend the funeral.. but at least i did manage to make it to crematorium.. and i met you there.. and of course.. him.. this is the first time i met with you again since our break up in mid february.. in such incident and happening.. i guess this is just not so right.. but anywhere.. at least i make it and managed to pay my last respect to uncle..

everything happened afterward was so peace.. and i was a little bit shocked that.. you looks much more tougher than what i though.. initially i was a little bit worried for you.. but after i met with you.. i realised that my worry are just unnecessary.. afterward only i know from your besty that.. uncle has been in critical stage for few weeks back and you have a deal with him.. so i think may be you have been ready for this mentally.. but still i found it doesn't like the one i know.. well.. that is just from my point of view..

was planned to go back KL after meeting up with auntie.. but auntie keep asking my stay for lunch.. it does feel a little bit awkward to have lunch with you, auntie, your sister and him together on the same table.. but i just can't run away like that after auntie has ask me stay for lunch after a few times right? thanks to auntie for keep on chatting with me during the lunch so that i wouldn't be looking so alone and awkward.. we have endless topic before this.. but seems like distance has change it all again.. guess thing are just getting different and we need to accept the fact..

reached KL around 5pm after that.. was  so freaking tired as i doesn't have a good sleep the night before and i still need to travel to Malacca back to office to prepare for outstation thingy to JB in the following week.. but at least i am glad that i did attend..

may you rest in peace.. thanks for taking care of me during these 2 years.. =)

the following week in JB was quite hectic.. as expected.. Plastrade Technology Berhad was never easy to their Auditors.. they always thinks that Auditors are person who like to perform some stupid test and ask for explaination for no purpose.. oh come on.. you think that it is fun to perform all those test as i need to scratch my head over and over again to figure out how could i document or present it.. and this is the first time i lead the Audit team for public listed company.. for a newbie with 10 months audit experience.. it seems like a mission impossible for me.. hmm.. what to do.. haiz.. can only scratch my head again and again to figure out what queries my boss will raised if i present this way or that way..

frankly speaking.. i doesn't really like my job.. yeah it is kind of challenging and i was actually having a six month promotion which most of my colleague will have to wait at least 1 year to get promoted.. again.. for a career newbie like me.. i still not sure this is a treat or threat.. i am okay with challenges and workload.. but i just couldn't stand office politics.. especially when you get promoted so soon.. those elder staffs will start link you with politic issues.. hmm.. and life in Malacca.. is not the life that i wish to be.. this is a great place for travel.. but definately not a place for me to develop my career..

was always looking up for a change.. may be it is time for me to move to KL.. since i have a home here.. so i doesn't really need to worry much.. all i need.. is just a chance to change my current life..

still waiting for a change.. wondering when will it be..

no photos this time.. as I think that it is better for me not to post any photo.. as some memories are just meant to be kept..

Monday, October 22, 2012


Was intended to write something.. about my past week and so on.. but it was too late now and need to wake up at 7am to work later.. so..

tomorrow, maybe? haha =P

I will be back!


Wednesday, October 17, 2012


曾几何时…我以为自己很了解某样东西…但原来当时间逝去…很多东西已经不像我所知道的那样了… 即使只是短短的几个月… 却已面目全非…

果然… 有些事情还是让它保留在脑海里吧… 至少不会像我现在这样地惊讶… 破坏了当初自己的美好回忆…

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Smile, make it a brighter day..

Nowdays.. i dun really like my current stage of life.. as i always thought that.. my life could be better..

I has been chasing and pursuing my own dreams.. yet the reality kept disappointing me.. sometimes i do really ask myself.. am I going to continue lifestyle like this until the end of my life?

I admit.. for most of the time my mood swing easily.. it can be just something that i read that dig out the feeling or memory that i have buried it inside my brain since long ago.. yet it just being dig out like that..

But tonight it is different.. I do felt some "familiar feel" in the story i read I guess.. I couldn't explain how it really feel.. Perhaps.. that make me have the intention to record down my own feeling at this moment..

p.s. my mood gets better after i read your posts and i shall always remember to smile.. as it make a brighter day.. thanks.. ;)

Monday, October 1, 2012

2012中秋节 - Mooncake Festival 2012

今年的中秋节可以说是比较的充实.. 嗯.. 也比较有意义.. 哈哈..

星期六 (八月十四) 去了蔴坡中化中学的中秋园游会.. 这是我第一次去中化的园游会.. 老实说初初的时候是没什么想去的.. 因为当场会有很多很多人.. 想泊车都很辛苦.. 但想想下今年我总不能就这样蹉跎了我的中秋节..  所以就去咯.. 果然.. 没有后悔.. 嘻嘻..

虽然到那里时有些迟了.. 但刚刚好是整个园游会的压轴.. 原来当场有Astro本地圈在那里主持着.. 然后就是Astro最近的新星.. Geraldine颜慧萍和赵洁莹也在现场唱了几首歌.. 当然还有最近刚出的BFF咯..

不好意识有点蒙.. 毕竟当晚我没带我的相机.. 只好用手机咯..



园游会的闭幕礼是嫦娥"奔"回月宫的表演了.. 老实说要当"嫦娥"还真的需要有很大的勇气..连我是在下边观看的观众都为她捏了把冷汗.. 佩服佩服..



到达了.. 佩服佩服.. Salute!

最后最多人的地方莫过于颜慧萍和赵洁莹的简单的签名会咯.. 哈哈.. 这是我第一次出现在签名会嘞.. 当然要凑一下热闹啦..

喔.. 有些后悔没带相机了..


Close up.. sorry for blur.. =/


最后.. 来张全景照吧.. 嘻嘻..

我的小小Souvenir.. 哈哈..

虽然我不是她们的粉丝.. 但还是会支持本地创作的! 哈哈..

Hmm.. 总的来说.. 今晚还是不错的一晚.. 明年我还要再去.. 真的不得不说声:"中化.. 做得好!!" 噢.. 有少少后悔自己不是中化生了.. 哈哈..

隔天就正式是中秋节咯.. 一大清早起来就做了一件有意义的事情.. 虽然全家人都不在家.. 但无阻我去的心.. 嘻嘻.. 那就是去慈济捐血!! 中秋节捐血.. 还是我有生以来第一次.. 哈哈.. 看看下.. 才发现原来自己已经一年没捐血了.. 当年还发愿想半年就捐一次血.. 看来需要反省反省下了.. hmm..

又是右手.. 虽然想换左手但护士说血管下.. 还是右手好.. 看来没办法啦.. 以后都还是乖乖地伸出右手吧..

到了晚上去了婆婆家.. 围着桌子赏月吃月饼.. 哈哈.. 虽然不是全员到齐.. 但也已不错了.. 就享受一下天伦之乐吧.. 看着小孩在那里跑跑闹闹.. 家里还是要有些小孩子才会热闹些.. 哈哈..

这个中秋节.. 对我而言.. 是蛮特别和有意义的咯.. 月圆人圆.. hmm.. 那我几时才有机会千里共婵娟呐? 哈哈..

好啦.. 开心的都说完了.. 到了夜深人静时难免还是会有些低落.. 尤其是明天是星期一!! 又要回到工作岗位.. 有时候真的希望可以像个小孩那样.. 可以扭别不需要上学.. 哈哈.. 但还是的面对现实.. =/ 哦.. 小孩真好..

夜里真的不适合听一些比较down的歌.. 但最近真的被曲婉婷的<我的歌声里>吸引着了.. 很多人说什么心情听些什么的歌.. 真的很贴切..

这首歌我第一次听时就被它吸引着了.. 或许是自己觉得有种似曾相识的经历吧.. 收场时确实是有些突然.. 剩下的.. 只是回忆.. 你存在我深深的脑海里.. 不知几时才有机会再见呢? 又会是在什么情况下再见呢? 或许就看命运怎么样去安排吧..

夜了.. 还是静静地沉思在这首歌的旋律和曲婉婷的歌声里吧..