Yeap, I knew I hope this would be a positive post from my previous posting, but well.. sorry! it seems to me that this will be another grumpy, negative post, hopefully it will be ended after tonight.
I wished for a change. I really really did and I have put in much efforts in it. Notwithstanding that efforts have been put in, but the result is simply not just as what I expected.
I tried to be optimistic, but each and every time the reality just turn me into pessimistic. That feeling sucks right?
At least I tried and there is nothing to lose? I though to myself. Yet, the result still matters to me. I noticed that I tend to isolate myself during this period in order to spread the negative feeling around.
It is harder than I though and somehow I think I failed that. Even people around me senses that something is not right in me. May be I was never a good pretender as I though. I just wrote whatever I felt on my face although I am trying hard to hide the disappointment.