it is 3:48am now and by right i should be sleeping now but i didn't... just can't get into sleep the whole night... insomnia??? dunno... after a quite tough training this afternoon i should be damn tired and can sleep well... but it just doesn't work... haha... i like still have energizes for another training session... haha...
nothing special about this post... but just feel like writing... hmm... seriously i didn't write blog often these few days... doesn't have mood for that... haha... i admit i am quite a emotion person... my decisions are influenced by my current mood... that is why most of the times i am making silly and stupid decisions... sigh... what to do???
feeling quite bad these few days... that is my mood... but i have to pretend like nothing to other... i believe most of my friends doesn't know actually i was down for quite a long time already... i think i cover it up very well... haha...
exam are over... assignment also over... now i have 4 weeks to enjoy my days without any assignments and tests... by right i should be enjoying... but nope... i didn't... sigh... test result bad??? nope... i still satisfied with my result so far... it is just because quite a lot of things went oppositely with what i think... i might be expecting on something... but most of the time it disappointed me... sigh...
i knew this is part of life also... things wouldn't always get it right with what you expect... thins is life... but it seems like too long for me!!! i am quite in desperate and frustrated... really... i used to believe happy-go-lucky... and i am still now... but hoping everything will be fine soon... really...
i seldom will share my feelings with other friends... in fact... i seldom show my problems with them... no matter how close we are... i wouldn't simply share it... i dunno why but i just wouldn't... that is why i will pretend like nothing in front of them... but seriously inside myself i am getting tired already... hoping someone pop out and lead me out of this hole... i am getting tired of pretending...
i knew a lot of friends are care about me... my housemates... my friends... but i just wou;dn't simply share it... may be this is what i get used with because since i am small i seldom share my feeling with others also... that is why i am always giving other think i am a very cool person... and ego... haha... i admit i am ego de... seriously... i never denied it... but that is me... what you expect me to do???
i am a very weird person... haha... i will pretend in front of others... but i will take off the mask in front of my loved one... haha... i will share everything with her... but that is almost a year ago since my last relationship... if you ask me will i think of starting another one... my answer might be yes... haha... but seriously... i wouldn't made any emotional decision this time... i don't wanna what happened happen again... i wouldn't feel good for that... and sometime i am thinking i am really sorry for the girl... i know i am hurting her quite badly last time... sigh... but what passed has passed... that is nothing i can do now...
wish to start a new chapter in my life... May I???
~~v1nc3nt90
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