Saturday, December 14, 2013
Lots of things are spinning in my mind recently.. about working.. about my further study.. about future planning.. and about us.. i tend to figure out actually i have spending quite a number of time wondering and pondering.. instead of putting all these thinking into action.. hmm..
It is December now which means year 2013 is coming to an end soon, with 2014 is waiting us ahead in just less than 3 weeks.. looking back for year 2013 in a glance, what have I actually achieved? Hmm.. to be honest.. not much i would say.. i guess.. the most significant achievement was i finally came to this city and joined Berjaya Group..
Ever since the decision is made, I noted that something changes in myself without knowing.. for example.. i don't think travelling for 30 - 40 minutes to another place is consider as far anymore.. and stuck in traffic is just a normal thing for me now.. but on the other hand, i figured out my temperament is getting more and more bad.. i could become impatient easily.. thanks to all the traffic and fast pace living.. sigh.. it is not a good sign actually..
Would you change for the one you care about? and up to what extend will you change? for me.. im unsure about that.. i used to believe be yourself as there is the truly you and do not need to pretend or hiding something.. but sometimes i do doubt about this myself.. changes made are for a better future.. the world is changing everyday.. and you will have to change yourself in order to adept in the environment.. and slowly you will start to figure it has become a norm to you..
Hence, i now do believe the sames should applied to the relationship between two person.. no matter how close you are, some changes are just simply unavoidable.. although there is up and down inside me.. as i do have my own emotion too.. sometimes i will just fed up and sorry that i just can't be what you really want.. recognition is quite important for me.. sometimes i wish my efforts will be recognised and being noted.. for for the time being i do not really see that and i was really upset about that too.. may be you just does not really know how to express it.. but all i need is just hoping that you understand and appreciate my efforts.. as it has been not easy on me and i did struggling in myself on all the things i did.. it is not easy after all..
Hoping that as time goes on, both of us will have understand each other more.. may be this is the only reason for me to keep holding on.. =)