31 December...

today is da last day of 2007 lo... and of coz a happy new year from me to all my frens... bt think bout it... is it reli happy new year? haha... for others may be it will be a very happy day and moment... bt for me... it was quite terrible... first time im going to celebrate new year alone... wat a lonely way to celebrate new year eve... dis December was reli a terrible december... everything seem like going wrong, wrong and wrong... first i have lose sumone from my side... then im out from a branch of frens becoz of sumthing i did... sigh... like things will never gt rite in tis december... reli reli hope all these nightmare will end and a new start is waiting for me in the new year... i reli hope so... reli tired from all these stuff...

anywhere... stil wishing u all happy new year...

boring sunday...

as usual... sunday was the longest day of every week for me... wake up at 6 am today... dunno y... insomnia these few days... den da bao my breakfast at ghany... ate my breakfast... playing sum childish and silly games... watch movies... and bla bla bla... finally 2pm d... went out again for lunch... spend RM 8 on lunch... haha... coz order an abc for rm2.50... quite expansive bt nice... so it worth. den going for a little shopping after tat... bought a new game... need for speed prostreet... bought a new keyboard for my laptop... onot da keyboard on my laptop sure will spoil coz keep playing games... spending a lot lot others money for rubbish... haha...

stil lost my direction... alto i found it a bit way back to my life... bt sigh... for most of the part im stil lost... quite empty in my heart... my mind...from full of joy it become empty... yeap... at least last time i have a person to sharing joys, sadness and willing to listen to my hopes and dreams... bt no more for nw... sigh... bt sumthing have passed should let go of it... shouldnt think so much... haha... dunno y... i changed a lot... last time i wasnt like tis... i can put down feeling toward sumone very fast and soon... nt even one week i can forget d lo... bt y tis time even one month passed already i stil cant completly let go of it? sigh... ppl become more matured as time passed bt i become more immature in tis kind of stuff... haha... funny rite? may be sumday i will find my answer... hope so la...

last... today is 30 december d wor... means two more days to 2008... time passed reli fast... juz a blink of eyes nw 2007 stil left 2 days only... haiz... without noticed... i have been in UTAR for more than half a year d... haha half a year man... bt it juz like a week for me... alto too much things happend during tis half year... bt i stil feel it passed very fast... if can let me choose... i wan to go back to august or september again... hehe... to correct sumthing i did wrong... sigh... bt we all noe time will never return...

a early greeting from me... happy new year... to all my frens...

~~v1nc3nt90

My wonder... My ponder...

long time din update my blog d... haha... after the lame shit and ultra hard web page design test i should relax a while... so decided to write this blog... hehe...

haiz... recently a lot of things happend... and sum of those things changed my mind... ya... my way of thinking... my feeling and all... well it was my fren... my fren has juz broke up wit him gal fren... emm... shouldnt be juz... bt long time ago d... juz he totally giving up da gal yesterday... well... care to listen a story? haha

they was once a happy couple... a couple that let other ppl envy at them... da boy (my fren) was love da gal so much... and seriously... he was reli tot that they can last forever... he reli did... bt that nite... his galfren give him a shock... she requested to break... of coz... he refuse to accept it alto he knew there are sum problems between them d... da boy decided to let her break for a while... to cool down and consider for sum times... so... of coz... like others, da boy keep on trying to save this relationship... he tried very very hard and put on a lot of efforts to save this relationship... alto she keep saying dun put hopes and all... da boy belif wat he did can touch the gal... that is y he keep on putting efforts and all to save this relationship...

bt last nite... during the Christmas nite... he give up... totally give up d after he had a talk with her... only after that he knew tat da gal was nt happy with the relationship very long d... since they started da gal oso nt happy d... so in the end... da gal decided to request break... ok... and da words that hurt the boy most is when she said:" i have totally no feeling at u d"... my fren's heart totally broken... he cant accept that... may be u will say he was immature... and in fact... he is... he is quite immature... bt he reli love her! bt at the end... hw da gal treat him? she reli reli hurt da boy... and da poor boy... finally accept tat and totally give up her d... that is da christmas nite for da boy... a "wonderful" christmas nite he have... i think he will remember tis christmas nite forever gua...

hmm... for me... love sumbody who didnt love u isnt da worst part... da worst is love sumbody who have hurt u badly... it will never have a nice endng... juz as my fren... pity him... he reli reli did a lot of things for da gal and hope that she will un bt in da end she dun even appreciate bt scold him... sigh... bt gud thing is he had already put down the love to her... he has given up and i belif that is gud for him... coz da gal also wouldnt appreciated wat he did... so wat for he doing all those things again? she will juz tot him as a fool and stupid... and lastly... wat past has passed... there are no point to talk bout it again d... it wun change anything... da boy finally can be himself back... can be da real of him... wun worry bout da gal again... wun think of wat is gud for her and such... alto thinking like this is a bit selfish... bt he should have rather den putting empty hope on her... i used to belif we will nid to change or sacrifice sumthing to keep da relationship... bt nw my mind changed... nw for me, i think being urself is da most essential of ur life... dun try to change urself for anyone... it doesnt worth... and is love reli artificial? i wonder... and ponder...

Pretender...

ppl do change as time goes on... and of coz... me too... i used to hate pretender or faker... since i was small i dun like pretender at all... they wun be my frens but only enemy... gut sigh... nw i changed... a very very big changing... becoz... im one of those pretenders d... sarcastic rite?

sum decision was hard to make, sum words is hard to say... bt i dun care anymore d... for sum of da reason i dun care d...alto it is nt my will bt i stil did it... and i think it was da best way alto i dun like it... yes... and im suffering for wat i have done... bt i didnt regret that i have did it... whenever there is a pretender, a victim will occur oso... in my case... it happend oso... i did hurt sumbody... bt i have no other choise beside that... i reli reli dun wish to do tat... bt if u let me choose again... i will choose da same reason... yes... definately... haha... im doing things tat totally opposite wit my will... but for da person... i nid to pretend in tat way... sorry...

for all the ppl who reading tis... sum decision are hard to make... bt... rmb... be urself... only tat ur life is better... no matter wat decision is it... juz be urself... dun pretend in other ways... rmb honesty is the best policy...

ok la... nid to slp d... tmr muz travel to ipoh summore... no.. should be today coz nw oso 4am d... haha...

*hope tat sumday u will noe y i did tis to u... i reli dun wan to mean like tat...

~v1nc3nt90

Exhausted...

Recently there r a lot lot of things in my mind. Assignments and some personal problems. tis was a reli reli tough week for me... at least i think it is... first... we staying up whole da nite juz to finish the web page design assignment. great last minute work again... haha... we have started at 9 sumthing on thursday nite and did until friday 7 sumthing only done... c hw brillent are us... luckily, every group members are trying their best to make the best of we can alto we stayed up whole the nite... thanx to u all we manage to finish da whole assignment from zero in around 10 hours... thanx to u all... alto davis, jackson and sooi yan take a nap during we doing da page... haha... u all have contributed great efforts in this assignment... thanx to u all.. haha... we having a break at 4 sumthing n go for our supper (or breakfast???) at ghany... omg... da roti was so nice at 4 a.m... better dan usual one... haha... Finally we finished our assignment at 7 sumthing... bt i ponteng miss ching lecture to do sum of the other stuff such as introduction and concludsion. thanx to davis in tis part... u give a big hand in it... arrived at the photostat shop at 1 sumthing... wait until 2 sumthing only i finished printing... arrived at miss chai tutorial at 2:40 bt she din scold oso coz she noe we bz for assignment... and she allowed me to sign attendance tim alto i juz attended her class for 20 minute... nice lecturer... hehe... after that when i wanna burn my assignment into an empty cd... only i realised i left my pendrive at the photostat shop... omg muz go all the way b da shop den come b uni again to burn coz my laptop was there. finnaly sumbit my whole assignment at 4 sumthing then go for a talk held by joey yap bout faces or we call 面相 in chinese... learned quite a lot of things from him... he was quite funny in a way... bt too bad cant attend his next talk on next saturday coz going b hometown... feel soooo "gud" coz havrnt eat anything since 4am sumthing in ghany till nw... nw 7pm sumthing bt i still havent eat anything wor... dun feel hungry oso... haha... din sleepy oso alto din slp for about 1 and da half day d... may be all my sense malfunction d... haha...

This week was reli a terrible week for me... beside all those shit assignments and test, my personal problems are sumthing tat make my life worse. I dun even noe wat am i doing or may be i should ask myself... should i did that... After a long long thinking, i decided i should. sum decisions were very very hard to make.. i have my own inner conflicts... haha should i apply da economic opportunity cost on it onot? bt i belif... i muz do it for sum of the reason... coz tis may be da best way for sumbdy alto i reli dun wan... bt as the thing is in this situation d... i belif i dun have much choices d... alto i reli dun wanna do it, bt everything was too late d... wat i have done it is done... da fact wouldnt be changing... i dun wanna wish to let her noe y i did so... bt i belif it is da best way... bt hosnestly... i wasnt the best for me... or i can said it was da worst thing for me... bt i muz do it... in time... i hope i will recover soon la... Vincent will never fall... haha... or at least... i hope i can... gud luck to myself... hehe...

~v1nc3nt90

是与非...

haiz...到底我那样做是不是最好的解决方法?我自己都不知道该不该那样做... 虽然伤害是在所难免的...可是我觉得这样做对大家来讲是最了断的... 与其各自都辛苦...不如就让我来做个了断...酱一来我们都可以得到时间来冷静自己... 要我酱做虽然是很心痛... 很辛苦...可是长痛不如短痛...不如就这样彻底的让她离开...希望你能尽快恢复...我真的很心痛...可是我不得不这样做...因为在这段时间中...我们还是保持一段距离比较好... 对不起... 坏人当然是比较容易做...但有谁能明白我心里的感受?

在这段时间中... 我终于学到了由爱生恨的道理了... 也让我迷失了自己...我真的已经好累好累...好想放下一切就这样什么都不用理...可是现实是残酷的...你越想休息...它偏偏让你没的如愿以偿...我好想睡觉喔..好想躺下来的时候是完全没烦恼的...脑子里什么都不用烦...那该有多好?

最后...真心的祝福你...开心...快乐...希望你能找到你想要走的路...找回你自己...做回你自己...酱才是对的起你自己...坚持自己的决定...能看到你开心...当然我也会开心的... 我真诚的向你道歉... 希望你会了解我的用意...如果你真的不会原谅我...我也不会怪你的...毕竟...这是我自己选的...是我的选择... 希望有天你会明白...

写给一个不会看华文的人...也是一个曾经和我分享过喜怒哀乐的人...祝福你快乐...

~伤心和失落的坏人...

8/8/2007 vs 6/12/2007

8/8/2007 和 6/12/2007 是两个完全不同的日子... 无论是在心情上, 感觉, 想法, 意义都完完全全不一样... 8/8 可以说是我最开心的一天...而6/12却让我完全跌进了谷底...在这121天里许许多多的事情发生...有甜的酸的苦的...许多甜美的回忆...和 许多心酸的故事...难道一样东西真的不能长久吗?任何东西都有它光亮的一面和它黑暗的一面...只要能带过它黑暗的一面, 光亮就在那转角而已...难道你就这样放弃了吗?就这样这能成为回忆了... 算了...如果你觉得没必要的话...我也没什么好说的了...只想让你明白...我真的受伤了...现在的我也已经不是以前的我了... TA7 也已经失去了他们那喜欢笑嘻嘻, 爱开玩笑和神经失常的Boss了...真的真的需要一段好长的时间来养伤...真的好痛...好累...但如果你觉得这样对双方都好...我也不会留着你 的...至少...我知道你是开心的...酱就够了...我满足了...