我心...

渐渐地...
我已经习惯了没有你的日子...
离开了那些与你在一起的日子...
那些与你分享我喜怒哀乐的日子...

剩下的...
就只是孤独和寂寞...
没有什么感觉会比它们恐怖...
孤单和寂寞令到了我心乱了...

但慢慢...
我已经不在怕这些感觉了...
我学会了面对而不是逃避...
封闭自己就等于向它们投降...

相信...
有天有个忠实的听众会出现...
愿意听完我说的每个故事...
直到我的故事到达了尾声...

UTAR 2007 May Intake Foundation Exam Timetable come out already!!!

hoho... last day of march 2008 and UTAR's exam timetable for 2007 May Intake student has already released...

the exam timetable for Stream A are as below...

FBAM1013 INTRODUCTION TO COST ACCOUNTING
22/4/2008 Tuesday 9 a.m. to 11 a.m.

FBFF1013 FUNDAMENTALS OF FINANCE
24/4/2008 Thursday 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.

hmm... that means i can go back to Muar on 25 lo... hehe... can't wait to go back...

~~v1nc3nt90

man utd rocks on!!!

haha... skipped finance lecture today because really too lazy to go... some more than lecturer is a very great hypnotist... so even if i attend her class also i will sleep in the class... so no different if i skipped her class... sleep at hostel is far far away more comfortable than in classroom... hehe...

anywhere... i am manic today... watch slam dunk for 20+ episodes... haha... non stop watching... then gone out with allen they all to watch arsenal vs bolton... Arsenal won 2-3 in Reebok stadium... 2nd half was really a big different for arsenal if you watch that too... quite amazing they managed to score 3 in 30 minutes...

whatever la... Man Utd got a match also... against Aston Villa... and as a Man Utd fans... of course i will support Man Utd... lolx... and Man Utd win 4-0... what a comfortable win... haha... and Rooney finally scored already... Scored 2 goals tim... haha... Ronaldo scored 1 and Tevez scored 1 goal also...

so... after that match Man Utd now lead with Chelsea 8 points... Chelsea will have a match against Middlesbrough tommorow... and lead Arsenal with 6 points... looks like Man Utd have a great chance to retain the title this season... haha... keep on roaring Man Utd... haha...

Hope to see this scene again... haha...

~~v1nc3nt90

so... this is the answer???

today after class at 6 pm i went to KTAR to play volley ball with jackson they all... haha... quite long time didn't played already... before this my first ex is a volley ball player... and she did represent for her school before... haha... but i never saw her play in match before... hehe... well... that is why i played volley ball before... but i really damn noob in volley ball lo... hehe... so i still stick with soccer better... haha...

went back to my hostel at almost 8pm... took a short break before went to bath... because can't straight away bath when your body is still sweaty... and i saw a phrase by my friend in her msn personal message... it wrote:"分手后不可以做知己, 因为彼此伤害过. 不可以做敌人, 因为彼此深爱过. 所以变成了最熟悉的陌生人..." which means:

"after break up we can't be very nice friends, because we hurt each other before... we can't be enemy, because we loved each other before. so we are just stranger which know each other well..." * my translation sound a little bit weird... but this is what written there...

think about this sentence for a time... totally ignored i still haven't bath yet... haha... so i just sit in front of my laptop and wrote this post... may be this is the answer i am asking for this few months... sometimes really think i myself was some kind of foolish lo... keep wanna be friends after break up... actually after saw that post which written by her the answer was so obvious is there already... haha... so why the hell i am still act like a jerk who keep asking for answer?? come on man... time to wake up... just treat people as how they treat you... better for yourself...

but now i am wondering should i do that?? haha??? whatever la... fate will lead me... eventually...

~~v1nc3nt90

噢？？

今天和 Jackson 他们心血来潮去打排球... 老实说我很久没打排球了... 之前我的初恋情人是排球手喔... 有代表学校比赛的... 那时就有接触到排球... 但我打排球真的很差... 还是对足球比较有兴趣... 哈哈... 今天算是回味回味一下了... 哈哈...

差不多要八点时便收档了... 带着满身大汉的身子回到宿舍里... 好不容易汗干后准备冲凉吃晚餐时却让我在msn看到一句话... 这句话令又让我忘了自己是多么的脏... 就坐在书桌前写了这个post...

"分手后不可以做知己, 因为彼此伤害过. 不可以做敌人, 因为彼此深爱过. 所以变成了最熟悉的陌生人..."

就是这样的一句话... 让我浪费了差不多十五分钟写下这篇post... 仔细想想... 是有几分道理的喔... 这可能就是我这几个月来一直在找的答案吧... 想想看自己有时还真的很天真... 分手后还想做回朋友... 哈哈... 其实那天看过她那封post时我应该明白了的... 答案已经很明显了啊... 有何苦一直去问呢? 只会让人家觉得你是一条甩不掉的讨厌鬼... 对吗? 是时候醒来了咯...

~~v1nc3nt90

是幻觉?? 还是梦境??

今天在睡梦中无端端被一阵声音吵醒... 感觉上好像是有人在叫我一样... 虽然很不甘愿... 但还是挣开眼睛看看到底是谁这样大胆一大清早就吵醒我... 奇怪的是... 房里并没有其他人啊... 只有我一个人傻傻的坐在床上...

抱着满肚子的疑问... 走进了厕所... 洗了脸... 想在睡回的时候却发现自己清醒的很... 完全没有一丝的睡意... 决定了... 打开窗口... 做了一次深深的呼吸... 冰冷的空气不禁让我打了一个颤抖... 但也让我的思绪变的更清醒...

望着漆黑的天空(当时还是凌晨五点多...)心情也自然的平静下来... 已经好久好久已没看过凌晨的夜晚了... 还记得以前读中学时每次都因为要很早起而抱怨... 但自从中学过后就没什么机会看到凌晨的天空了... 我试着寻找月亮... 老实说我很喜欢月亮... 因为她总是神神秘秘的... 而且最重要的是... 她在夜晚时带给我们光亮... 虽然是很渺小的光... 但那光就好像黑暗中的指明灯一样...

令我失望的是... 今天早晨的天空并没有月亮... 连星星都没有... 不禁想像酱大的星空没有月亮和星星的陪伴会寂寞吗? 星空是那么的广大... 但没有了月亮和星星的陪伴... 广大的星空依然是不完整的... 就好像人一样... 无论你多伟大... 多么的有钱... 有多少的成就... 但身边一个人也没有... 人生依然是没意识的... 想诉苦的时候没人听... 想说心事时也没人睬你... 寂寞时却没人在身边陪伴着... 酱的生活... 会有意义吗?

写着写着... 晨早的太阳也渐渐照亮了黑暗的天空... 天空也渐渐地亮了起来... 日出... 好久都没看过日出了...记得以前中学的时候露营时和朋友一起看日出... 是多么的美啊... 虽然日出依然一样... 但一个人看... 却发现有些美中不足的地方... 很多人都说夕阳是最美的... 古人也有云:"夕阳无限好,只是近黄昏"... 但仔细想想... 夕阳过后就是夜晚的到来, 也是一天的结束... 而日出是代表着新的一天的开始... 全新的一天...是夕阳好呢? 还是日出好呢? 只能说答案因人而吧...

换个角度看东西... 你会发现有不一样的看法... 夜晚虽然漫长... 但始终会被早晨所取代... 人有多不如意... 始终还是会过的... 正面的去看一件不开心的事... 也会发现其实并没那么糟糕吧... 到头来... 酒醒后... 会发现原来自己做了一场春秋大梦... 一切都像梦一样... 天亮后就不留一点痕迹...

~~v1nc3nt90

what have i done???

for a time... i was thinking how will a person hate me that much... really wonder this question for a very very long time already... until now... i was still wondering for the answer... it wouldn't be you hate somebody for no reasons right? just as if you wanna execute a convict you will need at least one reason also...

so... what did i do wrong to you?? may be i was mean at that time... because you really made my life gone ruined... all going wrong... you experienced that before and i think you will knew how it feels like... well... at least it was in the beginning... and i admit... i took quite a long time to forget that feel... so in this period i may have hurt your feel and all... but does it cause that much hates??

i do have my own feeling... but how people think of me i didn't care... but if it was my best friends, my family and someone i care it was... i damn care about that... i don't understand... that is why i wonder this question for a long time already... but i never asked... because i don't dare... i don't wanna make you hate more... every time you saw me like saw an enemy... or even worse than that...

but everything must have an end... this case also... i wish this could settle down also... don't wanna keep dragging it... so... i really hopes answer from you... sincerely hope...

p.s. i have a bad feeling that i will be scolded bad words, cursed or whatever kind of scolding tomorrow by somebody... haha...

~~v1nc3nt90

雨天...

我 静静的看着窗外

窗外 又下起了绵绵细雨

风 也无声无息地刮起了

天气 随着雨的到来而变冷了

思念 却没因为天气而变的冷淡

想念的心 依然还在那里静静的守着

守着 一颗遥远又不可及的心

一颗 曾经是那么靠近的心

现在 一切都只剩下回忆

想想 也应画上句号了

~~v1nc3nt90

my wonder... my ponder... part 5

well... at first i don't think will write this post... but seems like i having some problem with myself... and i don't know how to solve it... so just wanna share with you all here... here somebody might give some comment to me... need some guidance and advise... haha...

woke up quite early today... because i sleep very early yesterday... hehe... then think of something... because nothing to do... hehe... i woke up at 6 a.m. something... then thinking about the past... then decided to write this post...

sometimes i really wonder... why people will changed so dramatically... haha... including myself... i still wondering why although myself changed a lot... especially after somethings happened... something will give an impact to your mood and all... looks like i am thinking too much again but i am just wondering...

actually yesterday i shouldn't have joined TA6 for Miss Ching's class... but i am really got something to do so i must attend the class earlier... really regret for that...

for some reason... my appearance at there made somebody wasn't so happy... yeap... this is the thing... i know how people look at me... and i wouldn't care about that... but this was the exception... i care... i prefer not to appear in front of her... people changing... because of that... it seems like i am her enemy now... or even more than that...

i wonder why people will changed so dramatically... only in half a year... things and people changed so dramatically... and yeap... i know i changed too... i was really mean at beginning of that time... haha... because i really down and disappointed... may be HATE was the best word to describe how i feel... but after being for sometimes... i seems like doesn't care about that anymore... hmm... yeap... not at all... but at least better than before... at least i feel better...

sometimes letting go of something past was good... because what passed has past... will never come back again... the important thing is we must face the front... what left was just memory to be treasured and cherished... doesn't care it was good or bad... because even the worst part was memory also... i didn't expect anything... i just doesn't things happened like this... it was totally wrong... hate is the most horrible in all kind of feeling...

lastly... for the person who hate me... haha... i have some words for you... may be you will never see these words... but never mind la... i just wanna said it out... feel damn bad keeping inside of me... no matter what... you gave me some precious memory to treasure... and honestly.. i didn't blame you for anything now... haha... sometimes i was thinking... i have hundreds of reasons to hate you if i want... but i prefer not to... especially... you was once a special person for me... now i understand hate is really a really horrible feeling... i am glad i found myself back... from the deep hole of hate... although it took quite a long time... haha... and i am thankful for my friends' help... they gave very very much advise and support to me... i have found myself back... now... have you? seriously... no offence... because... for some of the reason i still care and miss you... haiz... terrible me... zzz

~~v1nc3nt90

Man Utd Rox!!!

went to ghany to watch Man Utd vs Liverpool... hehe... i am a Man Utd fans... went there with Allen, Victor, Erica, hehe... meet a lot of friends there... haha... Man Utd vs Liverpool leh... what a great match...

and yes!!! Man Utd won the match with 3-0... what a wonderful victory... scored by Wes Brown, C.Ronaldo and Nani... haha... however, Reina made some great save for Liverpool, or not may be it might be 5-0 or 6-0... haha... Ole!!!

Nani's flip Rox!!! haha... (this pic wasn't took when that match... They havent upload it so soon... hehe)

Finally... I finished all my assignment already!!!

after doing my assignments for dunno how many hours already... finally i manged to finish it... haha... made a cup of milo to reward myself... haha... sigh... still didn't feel like sleeping although i didn't sleep for the whole night already... and now was 8:38 a.m. already... haiz...

will be going to robin's house for printing the assignments in the night... then tape bind it at kampar express photostate shop... hehe... the place i went most... haha... well... since i can't sleep... how about a dota game??? lolx... die la... i am a monster now... XP

~~v1nc3nt90

rushing assignment in this late night...

i was rushing for my group assignments in this late night again... i think i will do until sunday morning to finish it if i sacrificed my sleeping time... never mind la... get used with didn't sleep for whole day already... haha... actually i can do it tomorrow afternoon, but i just don't wanna drag it again so decided to finish it as soon as possible... hehe... i have strong determination...

wondering why all assignment works was done by me... zzz... this is an group assignment man... it wasn't individual assignment... never mind la... since i was the leader... then should just cover it for my group members... T.T

finished my finance assignment at around 10 something... i finished the draft for this assignment few days ago already... and checked by miss chai already... so what i need to do is just do some editing works on errors and type it into MS Document... thanks for seng leong for typing the first question for me... hehe... he was one of my members also...

one down... and still got another assignment to do... yeap... cost accounting assignment... both of these two assignment will need to submit on Monday... and this is the worst assignment in both two assignment... because i need to do the whole thing again!!! WHOLE thing man... because after checked by Miss Ching, most of the parts i need to redo again... and most of my group members were going back hometown... so... haha... everything is on me, the poor leader again...

i have finish for introduction part, fixed costs and variable costs part... now doing the semi-fixed costs... if this time assignment got peer evaluation i sure get full marks... because almost all of those thing done by me!!! haha... just kidding... actually i didn't mind to do their parts also... because we are all friends... and i was the leader also... so it is my responsibility also... haha... will just nagging at them when saw them... hehe...

not feeling sleepy yet... quite weird because i didn't get enough sleeps these few days... haha... dunno why... feeling depressed gua... may be... or insomnia... haha... may be i should see UTAR counselor for advise... seriously i never see any counselor since secondary school... haha... forget about it... i think i can handle by myself geh... haha... now 5 a.m. already... need to rush my assignment again... hehe... so will just stop here la...

under depression... me?

~~v1nc3nt90

update...

well... this post supposed to be yesterday post but i am really too tired after comin back from ipoh so just update it today... haha...

ok... yesterday went to ipoh withTian Yi... i got a few things to buy and she is the same also... so we just going together... arrived in tesco at 12 something... hmm... tesco didn't change a lot although i didn't been there for about 9 months already... haha... i bought a dustbin, a extension port there... then went to Jaya J

have our lunch in food court... then go for fan hunt in JJ... haha... i bought a nice bowl there... hehe... dunno why i buy it because i have 2 bowls in my hostel already... arh... leave it la... perhaps some fine day i will use it... ok then went to cinema there because my car park near there... before we leave... we watch Ah Long Pte Ltd by Jack Neo... haha... quite funny the movie but the ending wasn't so good...

went to McDonald for dinner... hehe... having something in my mind again... sigh... then arrived at Kampar around 9 something... stay at Eric's home for chatting a while... went back to my own place around 12... and finally... i called it a day...

The Movie's Poster

p.s. next movie i wanna watch... 10,000BC... anybody interested???

The 10,000 BC trailer...

~~v1nc3nt90

i don't want to miss a thing...

hehe... i was watching Armageddon(1998's movie) by Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler... suppose to study for tomorrow cost accounting test... haha... but this movie was so nice until i must finish watching it... it was full with action and touching... can't stop it when started watching... hehe... so end up watch till 3 a.m. something... die la... no need study already... hehe...

i like this movie's them song... i don't want to miss a thing by Aerosmith... hehe... this song was really nice and meaningful despite his look... hehe... but who care bout how handsome he is... i just care bout how nice was this song really is...

seriously... i like this song because i miss quite a lot things... haiz... i really did... may be some few seconds, or minutes, or chances... and now... i was really quite regret about the things i miss... really really did... haha... and now only i know... sometimes we learned how to appreciate something when it is gone...

now thinking about the past... i really miss many many things... no matter in what... if i got another chance again i swear i wouldn't miss it again... really did... but i know it wouldn't happened again... times will never come back again... so should look forward about this... should forget the past and try not to make myself regret again in the future... perhaps this is the best way for me...

*recommendation from vincent*
if you haven't watch this movie... you should watch it... and the song was meaningful also.. i mean the lyric... haha... it remind me my past again... haiz... should stop thinking and go to sleep le...

The movie's poster...

p.s. happy birthday to Teh Chu Ying a.k.a Mr UTAR... hehe... happy birthday to you...

~~v1nc3nt90

so called my 18th birthday...

well... my 18th birthday was just like a normal day for me... haha... but anywhere... received many greeting from friends in UTAR... hehe... thanks for your greeting... haha... especially siew leng and they all greet me two times... lolx...

went out to ghany at 12 a.m. something with eric, victor they all... haha... then finally come back at 2 a.m. something... and i am gonna start playing my diablo II!!! oh man... recently i was addicted in this old game... hehe... actually should be start studying now since wednesday still got test...

lazy lazy bum...

~~v1nc3nt90

know what... the friendster horoscopes said so...

i was surfing in friendster to take a look of my profile... and suddenly i saw the horoscope and wonder what will be its prediction for me because today was my birthday... actually i wasn't believed in stuff like horoscope but this thing is really convinced me a bit...

it said...

The Bottom Line

Do something that will make you proud of yourself -- and your ego will flourish.

In Detail

In order to gain the level of confidence you want, you have to stop focusing so much on what other people think. Does that sound counterintuitive to you? It shouldn't. Only insecure people base their status on what other people think. You need to stop trying to impress other people and start trying to impress yourself! Don't get carried away in other people's dramas and expectations. Do something that will make you proud of yourself -- and your ego will take care of itself.

*Credit to Friendster Horoscope for March 17 2008

my ego will take care of itself??? hey it sounds like what i did everyday... and i found it was a big mistake for me... my egoistic... haha... should i believe it??

~~v1nc3nt90

happy birthday to myself...

hehe... finally... my 18th birthday was today!!! haha... received greeting from andrew ( i used to call him destroyer because he always spoil my things... especially my stationary... =.=) we are brother since primary school... then he "betrayed" us and "ran" to Singapore to further his study when we was form 3... hehe... anywhere... thanks to you... haha... and thanks to pheyven, hoong lyn, celine, and jeff quek for your birthday greet also... i appreciate it... and finally... thanks to min for your birthday greeting in sharp 12a.m. really on time lo... haha... thanks to you guys... tomorrow still have to go to university... wondering what is waiting me... haha...

~~you are the birthday present i want... wakaka...

~~v1nc3nt90
17 March 2008 3:48 a.m.

One day more to my birthday...

tomorrow is my birthday already...
wondering who will still remember my birthday and drop me a message or what...
haha...
anywhere i was just wondering...
may be no people will remember also...
looks like this year i really have to celebrate it alone...
haha...
should get used with this...
sad sad...
lolx...

~~v1nc3nt90

即将18岁的我...

今晚又是一个漫长的夜晚...已经五点了但我还没去会周公... 明天(其实已是今天了)还有Financial Management 的考试...想不死也有点难...哈哈... 仔细想想一下... 我的生日快要到了喔...而且还是十八岁生日... 哈哈... 十八岁生日对许多人来说是一个新的里程碑... 所以我决定写下这篇文章... 关于我在这十八年里的事情...哈哈...

在1990年3月17日晚上9点多, 在麻坡医院有一个婴儿呱呱坠地的诞生了...哈哈...那个婴儿就是本人啦... 哈哈... 就这样... 我的故事开始了... 我在我的家庭中是长子... 当然... 长子并不好当啊... 因为父母总是对长子的期望特别高... 哈哈... 就这样... 我四岁时就被丢进幼稚园了... 一般来讲幼稚园都是读两年而已... 可是我却读了三年... 哈哈...

1997年, 我进入了我的母校-麻坡中华基督小学(我不是基督教徒喔...)简称"基小"... 所以我们常给其他学校的学生取笑"小鸡" 就这样... 我在基小读了五年... 因为我是小三跳小五的...所以比别人少读一年... 这就是为什么我同班同学大多数都比我大一年... 六年级过后... 我进入了麻坡高级中学... (High School Muar) 别问我她的名怎么样来得,,, 因为我也不知道... 哈哈... 就这样... 我在那里渡过了五年的光阴...

在这五年内... 我改变了许多... 不只是外表... 思想改变了很多... 哈哈... 不是我自夸喔... 在小学时我很乖的... 但是到了中学就开始变坏了喔... 哈哈... 因为很多原因啦... 不过最主要的可能是叛逆期咯... 正在叛逆期中的我又怎么会服那些校规呢? 哈哈... 尤其是学长团的规矩... (我从小学开始就是学长团的... 不过在中学是我认为自己是最差的一个咯... 因为每次我都会罩着朋友... 但很奇怪的是我当了五年竟然没被炒尤鱼...哈哈...) 不过在这五年里我开始活跃于社团的活动... 我中学时成了红新月会的一份子... 过后就整天忙着社团的活动...有时想想... 在那些时候真的很不错... 和朋友一起露营... 在学校过夜... 为了准备一年一度的临别会... 这些都是甜美的回忆... SPM 过后... 我就直接进入UTAR的foundation并在今年五月会进Degree...

vincent 我曾经派过三次拖... 哈哈... 三次都是被人家甩掉的... 不过没关系啦... 就当每一次都是新的经验... 因为有的东西真的是要经历过才知道的... 不过有一样东东是我对这三段恋情有点遗憾的是... 我从没和她们其中一个一起庆祝过特别的日子... 比方说情人节啊...新年啊... 圣诞节...我的生日... 或对方的生日... 真的希望下一次可以和另一半度过这些节日... 真的希望... 哈哈... 若你问我三个里面我最喜欢那个... 老实说我不知道要怎么样回答你... 但是偶尔我会想念第一和第三的... 因为她们给我的回忆最多... 第一段是我最长的恋情... 哈哈... 而第三的是最常在一起的... 所以老实说... 我真的真的很想念她们两个... 哈哈... 不过... 我和第三的最近不是很高兴... 我觉得她真的很讨厌很讨厌我... 但老实说我真的没做错什么喔... haiz... 算了吧... 只是希望有天或许我们会再次成为朋友... 真的希望... 我真的是不想失去她...

Egoistic... 自我中心主意... 拿来形容我就真的是很配... 哈哈... 我承认我这个人很ego, 而且又大男人主意... 从小学开始我就这样了.. 哈哈... 这就是为什么我差不多样样都要做头... 哈哈... 或许这就是我推动力的来源... 哈哈... 因为我的骄傲令到我不想输给别人... 有信心的都会拼了命去做... 哈哈所以我在中学时是"老大"哈哈... 在朋友以及团体里都是做决定的那个... 但也因为我的高傲... 令到我失去了第三个恋人... 有时想想还真的很心痛... 我是不是应该改了?

朋友.. 对我来说是很重要的... 我觉得若没有朋友真的很难活下去的咯... 这世界上很少人可以不用依赖别人生活的... 但有时我还是比较喜欢一个人... 我希望每天都会有新的朋友... 哈哈... 老实说我可以是个很nice的人... 但对于我不喜欢的人... 我是不会保留的告诉对方我不喜欢你! 这就是为什么我得罪过很多人... 但我一点都不在乎... 好过要假装很友好但心里却不是... 若你不喜欢我... 那就走开吧... 拜拜...

我是个充满自信心的人... 但也明白太过自信是不好的咯... 不过就是自信心成为我的推动力... 让我尽力去完成每一样事情... 若没把握的事我是不会去理它的... 因为我真的很怕输... 哈哈... 我的高傲造成的... 哈哈 =) 我做事的时候很认真的... 但和朋友在一起时都会搞出一些笑话来... 这就是为什么我朋友时常说我幼稚... 哈哈... 好吧... 我承认我是幼稚... 但也只是相搞气氛嘛... 哈哈... 但最近我才发现原来我在爱情方面是很幼稚一下的咯... 但自从被朋友骂了一下... (尤其是佩雯... 她骂我骂到最够力... 哈哈... 但真的谢谢你骂醒我... 不然可能现在我还迷路...) 就当做是人生经验吧... 真的让我看到了许多东西...

写了怎么多, 也够长气了吧... 大概有一小时了吧... 哈哈... 也想不到有什么东东可以写了... so... 这次就到此为止吧... 若你有幸看到我这封post... 不介意的话就给个小小的留言吧... 哈哈... 好了... 最后... 祝我生日快乐... 但没有了她好像没有什么意识... 家人又不在身旁... 还真的很难开心... 哈哈... 但希望我的愿望会成真...

~~v1nc3nt90
草于2008年3月12日

going to be eighteen...

sigh... can't sleep again... but tomorrow still got test... financial test... most probably wouldn't sleep for whole night already... and since i am going to be eighteen... hehe... and eighteen birthday is a milestone for a person in his/her life... so... i decided to write a post about me in this eighteen years... haha... and for this post... i will write in both English and Chinese... haha...

on 17 of March 1990, around 9pm something... a baby was born in Hospital Muar... yeap... and of course... the baby was me... haha... and so... that started my story... i am the eldest children in my family... yeap... the first children... i enter kindergarten at the age of 4... i dunno why... because usually people attend kindergarten at 5 years old... but my mum intend to send me there at the age of four... so i was study 3 years of kindergarten... haha...

then in 1997... i attend my first school which is Chung Hwa Presbyterian Muar... this time... i study only 5 years in primary school... because i skip my standard 4 after passed in PTS... (An exam taken in Standard 3... whoever passed this exam can choose to skip standard 4 and directly go into standard 5)... so... since standard 5, most of my classmate was elder than me... after finishing standard 6, i attend my secondary school in High School Muar... don't get confuse... it was high a school and it's name is High School Muar... haha... then i spend 5 years there...

during this five years... vincent changed a lot... not only in appearance, but mentally.... hehe... i used to be a really obedient student in primary school... haha... but in secondary school... i started to get bad... hehe... because some of the reasons... i don't like school rules... especially the rules must be followed by a prefect... (i was a prefect in secondary school... but i can consider myself as the worst prefect gua... because i never take down any student's name and send them to teacher... it sucks... but still dunno... they never fired me... so i was prefect for five years.... hehe) hmm... but anywhere... i started to like the join and involved in Club and Society's Activities... i joined RCS (Red Crescent Society) and i was really involved myself 100% in that... i enjoy going camping with friends, staying whole night for preparing the MP (Majlis Perpisahan... we having this ceremony annually to pass the position to the student next batch...) going duty on MSSD, marching and build up a wood tower... haha... that was really really sweet memories...
after SPM... i entered UTAR and i was still studying in UTAR now... now i am in foundation in arts... will get into degree in May... haha...

vincent has fallen in love with other girls three times... haha... actually... three times also is me who been dumped by the other side... hehe... but never mind la... take it as a new experience... hehe... three times relationship... but vincent regret for somethings... that is vincent never celebrate any special days with both those three persons... new year, valentine's day, my birthday (this year will be the same also... sigh...), her birthday and christmas day... sigh... none of those day i celebrated with each one of them... quite sad... hoping next relationship wouldn't happen the same thing again.. haha... if you ask me which girl i love most among this three... seriously i can't answer you... but occasionally i will miss the first and the third... hehe... because they gave me the most memory... haha... well... but currently, me and the third girl wasn't so friendly... i think she do really hate me a lot... but i really think i didn't do anything wrong wor... sigh... forget about it... hopes some fine day we will be friends again... i really doesn't wish to lose her...

Egoistic... a best word match with me... yeap... i admit i am ego... a really ego person... since primary school i always wanna be the one who making decisions... haha... may be that is my motivation for most of the things... because i will do what i can to get something... and determination... because i will proof that i wouldn't lose... haha... so in my gang during secondary school i was the "lao da" (meaning boss) haha... and i hold the president in RCS... may be all those thing made my egoistic getting worst... haha... and because my egoistic... i seems like lose my third ex... for some of the reason she leave me was because of my egoistic... hmm... sometimes i really sad about this... but it was me... should i change?

Friends... a very important words for me... i think i really can't survive without friends... although sometimes i prefer alone... but without friends... life was meaningless... i wish to make new friends everyday... every single day we are meeting with other new people and i hope i can be friends with them... hehe... actually i can be a really really nice and easy going person... but at the same time i also can be a very mean person... for those people i didn't like... i wouldn't hide it... it was some kind of declaring wars with them but i just don't care... because i don't like to pretend nice to them although i don't like them at all... that is why some people don't like me... haha... but i don't care... if you don't like me... just go away...

i always confident with myself and have faith in all things i did... and that is why i always try my best to do everything i can... and if i don't have faith with that... i wouldn't do it... because i am too "kia shu" (afraid to lose... my egoistic again... haha...) i was serious when i doing my job or things... but i like to make fun around when with friends and all... that is why my friends always said i am so immature... haha... yaya... i did admit... but i just wanna make fun around... but seriously... now only i know i was really immature in handing problems like love... after being scold by people... (especially pheyven... lol... but really thanks to you for wake me up... now only i know what i did was so immature...) only i awake... haha... never mind la... take it as experience also... hehe...

i also dunno how long i wrote already... about an hour already... and i couldn't think anything about me again... haha... so i guess will just stop here... and if you are so "lucky" to saw this post... hehe... please leave some comments for me... haha... i wanna know... ok? lastly... countdown-ing for my birthday... haha... ( but exam come first now... zzz...)

~~v1nc3nt90
12 March 2008

Boring Tuesday...

today was really a boring tuesday because i don't have class on every tuesday... well... so i woke up one something just now... hehe... then go to university to submit some form and documents to DSA... then going out lunch with Erica... haha... actually i am not sure it was lunch or what la... because we took that "lunch" at 3 something...

went for Seng Yip for lunch... but too bad Seng Yip there closed... so we decided to eat at KFC since both of us long time never been to eat there already... haha... and i saw something special... a mug!!! A KFC special edition mug there... for celebrating 400th restaurants... haha... i am quite addicted in collecting these stuff so i just brought it without thinking so much... hehe... it worth RM8 if you bought it on its own or RM10 something with set... so i just brought set one lo... with chickens and drinks...

tomorrow still have financial management exam... hope it wouldn't be so hard... feeling sleepy now... haha...

The KFC mug...

~~v1nc3nt90

9 March 2008

today was 9 March 2008...
i didn't sleep for the whole night...
wondering and thinking...
about something that happened on me...
these few months....
time will never wait people...
but it still fail to wash some of my memory...
so, i am still looking for an answer...
an answer that either will disappointing me or the other way...
anywhere...
it will answer a question that keep in my heart for months already...
Malaysia's general voting was over...
Barisan Nasional (BN) suffer a very huge surprise...
they lose quite a number of votes in North Malaysia...
all of those politician was wondering why...
just as my feeling now...
wondering why...
and finally...
i slept at 8a.m...

~~v1nc3nt90

I Love You...

when a girl sad:"I Love You..."
will it be stupid to reject it?
in fact... i did...
i am sorry... i am really sorry...
but she is still in my heart...
i still can't forget about her...
i can't afford to have two person in my heart...
i understand that it was useless i keep like this...
not worth it at all...
but i just can't let go of something...
i need some time more...
hope you understand...
you are great...
it was me who dunno how to appreciate you...
so cheer up, ok?
you will find a better guy than me...
i am sorry...

~~v1nc3nt90

late in the midnight again...

it was quite late now but i still couldn't get into sleep... so drunk some beers... sometimes beers were good for relaxing and get away from problems... but i understand it was all temporary only... sigh...

listening to the music also... recently i found that some oldies was nice also... i am slowly get addicted to all those oldies already... haha... now i likes songs such as I will always Love You by Whitney Houston... Miss You Like Crazy by The Moffats... I put this song in my blog also... haha... really nice... The Calling- Wherever You Will Go... More Than Words by Extreme... Backstreet Boys - How Did I Fall In Love With You, Drowning, Aerosmith- I Don't Want to Miss A Thing and many many more...

Thanks to all these song to accompany me for the long long night... haha... any nice song to recommend to me???

~~v1nc3nt90

lion dance in kampar!!!

well... tomorrow is election day for Malaysia already... haha... so a lot of politician were having talks, bla bla bla to ask for voting from the public... ok... today MCA was having something like a talk... but also inviting lion dance and singer here... they having it at dataran bandar baru which is nearby yum yum, and hq bookstore there...

so... after a lot of "talk" from those politician... finally the lion dance was started... i went there just for lion dance... when all those politician was giving talks i stay inside the photostate shop to online... hehe...

wanna upload the lion dance performance... but too bad my video converter got a little bit problem... because i wanna compress it before upload... so will upload it next time....

~~v1nc3nt90

Love and Nurture Yourself...

today i was in DSA (Department of Student Affair) office and i have nothing to do... because i got to summit something to Miss Alice for Photography Society... but she was on the phone so i just walked around...

i saw a leaflet with the title"Love & Nurture Yourself"... so... again... my curiosity overtake my mind to order my body to take and read it... haha... there were written 36 sentences there... and i managed to read it one by one... and i found out some was very true... so i pick a bit out to share with you all...

1. I send love to my fear. My fears are the place within me that await love...
2. I give myself permission to be happy... not others...
3. I nurture my inner child...
4. I accept and love myself for who i am right now...
5. I forgive myself. I release the past...
6. I am calm, balanced, and in my center at all times...
7. I am a lucky person. Good things happen to me...
8. I have many good quality. I appreciate myself...
9. I focus on what is good and beautiful. I open to see the Divine in all life and in myself...
10. I expect only the best to happen and it does...

well... know why i highlight that sentence??? haha... actually until now... there are something that i can't let go... even it happened months or even years ago... and seems like i am always regret for what i did... haha... just hope that i can let go off these kind of feeling soon... especially in love...

p.s. credit to Counselling & Guidance Services of UTAR... those sentences were created by them...

~~v1nc3nt90

bad day...

ouch... my hand get sprained when playing basketball today... sigh... make me quite hard to drive... because quite pain when turn the steer... haiz... and today photography society's recruitment drive wasn't that successful... never mind... still got two days to go... gambateh...

and my back was quite pain also... effects from too long didn't exercise... haha... if got somebody to massage for me then will be best lo... wakakaka....

~~v1nc3nt90

days without you...

i am slowly getting used...
with the days without you...
to share my joys and sadness...
alone for me is nothing more...
slowly i was getting used with this horrible feeling...
it was no more horrible for me...
before this it is...
i hate this kind of feeling very very much...
loneliness sucks...
but for now...
i am slowly getting used with it...
it means nothing more for me...
perhaps some fine day...
i will found another audience...
that willing to hear my story...
until the end of my story...

~~v1nc3nt90

缘分...

有的人相信缘分... 有的人却不信... 至于我嘛... 老实说我是一个相信缘分的人... 因为如果没有缘分的话... 我和很多人都不会相识...

缘分... 对我而言是隐藏着的... 若有缘的话... 千里滔滔也会相识... 若无缘的话...就算擦肩而过也不会相识... 一旦相识了... 就是缘分的开始... 但缘分也是会有结束的一天... 我相信这世上没有永远的东西...所有的东西都有尽头的... 所谓:"天下无不散的宴席" 缘分也是一样... 都会有完的一天... 结束的一天... 但缘分有一个可爱的地方是它可以重新来过... 每段缘分背后都是一段故事... 一旦这个故事结束后... 下一个故事可能就在后头...可能是一个月? 或一年? 或五年? 或十年? 也有可能一辈子都不会再继续...

每一段缘分背后都是一段故事... 而每段故事就带给了我们回忆...好的,甜蜜的回忆值得珍藏... 因为当想起这些回忆的时候... 会发现原来自己曾经有过这一段故事... 心里总是会觉得甜蜜... 或许对有的人而言回忆只能成为回忆... 不值得我们去留恋... 但对我而言... 回忆... 让我们觉得自己没白活过... 自己在这世上曾经做过一些影响到别人生活的事... 这不一定要轰轰烈烈的... 可能只是微不足道的芝麻绿豆小事... 或许是你带着一个小朋友过马路而让他避过了一场车祸? 或者捐助一些书籍而令到某个人的思想改变? 这些都是芝麻绿豆小事... 但却足以令到一个人改变... 这一切一切都不是缘分在后面作祟吗?

缘分原本就是一体的... 有缘分就是有缘... 没有的话怎么样强求都没有用... 很多人常说有缘无分... 我却不怎么认为... 缘分原本就是一个字... 要是有的话... 怎么样拆也拆不散... 没有的话... 怎么样强求它也不会到来... 但我认为无论如何... 都让自己先尝试... 如果真的不行... 便放弃吧... 因为没尝试过... 你又怎么知道不行或没有缘分? 或许它只是躲在角落等你出现去把它挖掘出来而已... 因为这样才不会令到你在将来后悔... 千万千万别让自己有后悔的机会... 有些缘分出现在你眼前... 但你却不珍时它会消失... 但机会不常有的... 真的... 当它来到是请务必要紧紧的抓住它... 我就是没看清楚它的出现... 而让到自己后悔乐怎么久...

以上纯属我的个人意见...希望当你们看到这篇废话时可以给我一点意见... 分享分享一下... Vincent我写Blog不是为了什么...只是纯粹想打发时间和说出我心里想说却又找不到对象的废话... 希望借着这篇post祝福单身的人会出现有缘人... 当然也祝福我自己的有缘人会出现... 愿意听我讲完所有心里的废话... 当我最忠实的听众...

最后给于一个不懂看华文的人-盈盈... 希望你能找到自己的幸福... 做你觉得对和应该的事... 虽然我们的缘分可能真的已走到尽头了... 但依然感谢你给我的回忆... 当然... 我不expect你会看到这个post... 但我却真心的祝福你...

~~v1nc3nt90
草于2008年3月4日
2:36am...

...

hmm... dunno how to describe my mood now...
feeling really really sad and down...
because of something stupid i did...
it might be provoking somebody again...
may be i shouldn't admit it...
but it was my style...
i will admit no matter what...
~~sigh~~
it feels like a thorn or a needle inside my heart...
hoping recover soon...
i should have predict the end will be like this...
looks like vincent has once again...
regret for the things he did...
feeling sad, bad and tired...
should i give up?
may be after all...
lost of connection is the best way for this...

~~v1nc3nt90

sigh...

playing basketball just now with KTAR student and Jack Son they all... today i wasn't on form... haha... can't score much points if compared with last Wednesday... haha... however it was still fun and i made some friends from KTAR... play until almost 8pm and i went back to home to take bath... wonderful bath... haha... then went to Seng Leong's house to go for dinner with them...

stay at Seng Leong's house and wrote this blog... because my laptop was reformat-ing... haha... my laptop got a few problems these few days... quite laggy... so just reformat it... credit to Seng Leong for reformat the laptop for me... haha... so i still waiting for my laptop... haha...

looks like my days these few days quite disappointing... sigh... i am still unable to get something i wish... hmm... however... i will still try hard... but it was looks like really unreachable... haha... mostly i will get disappointing... but never mind la... i already used with that... but i manage to try... because i don't wanna let myself regret in the future... failure is better than never try right?

~~v1nc3nt90

boring morning...

today i woke up early in the morning for the recruitment drive for photography... so went to UTAR at 9 something... in fact i got class at 1 pm... but still have to go for the recruitment drive... ok... my story started here... when i arrived in DSA room... the officer in charge there, Alice told me my recruitment was on TUESDAY!!! oh man.... she gave me the wrong information before this... so... i drove back to my hostel again... ish... wasting my sleeping time and petrol... haha...

back to hostel... went in my room... sit in front of my laptop... then online... haha... now i am thinking about something... i am thinking about if last time i didn't do that what will be me now? seems like i always will regret for what i did... like sometime i will regret for didn't buy that thing... may be i saw something special but i didn't buy... then i will be regret... or may be some words i said... haha... two weeks more will be my birthday... yeap... exactly two weeks more... wondering if i will receive any gifts or not... somehow i wasn't in my hometown... so may be might just passed it like a normal day... haha... however... i still got a wish... wishing to get something back... haha... but seems like it will only happen as miracle... haha...

i am as boring and sleepy as this cat... may be will just on my frozen throne and play DotA... haha

~~v1nc3nt90

trip to ipoh...

ok... today i going ipoh with kevin, tian yu, wai yong and miss chai... we going at one something and reached at ipoh parade at two something because of traffic jam... zzz... having lunch at there... (actually it was my breakfast... =p) now only i know foods in parade's food court not nice one... hehe...

play bowling after lunch... oh man... i only gt 60 something points only... zzz... haha... anywhere it was quite fun... den going shop a while in parade... passed by crystal voice... think of something i shouldn't think again... sigh... i always like that one... well... forget about the past... then we going to jaya jusco... yeah... it has been months since i last hanging around in JJ... walked a lot of shops again... but i didn't buy anything... planned to buy a shirt... but seems like don't have any i want... so just keep it for next time gua... and i saw hoong lyn, and many Utarian there... seems like everybody prefer go to JJ than parade because i didn't see any Utarian in parade but a lot in JJ... haha...

i left JJ at 6 something to attend my cousin's wedding party in Ipoh... then went to my uncle's house in Chemor because he fetch me there... i dunno way to there... hehe... going back kampar at 11 and arrived here at bout 12:10... quite jam in the way back... especially near JJ there... something i feels bad about today was because of something... sigh... looks like she still can't let go of something... may be needs some more times... sigh...

~~v1nc3nt90

grahh!!!

until now 4am something already i still can't get into sleep... just simply because of that thing... i really really angry and disappointing... will never never think of you will did so... i never know things will going into like this... damn!!!

ok... now i am a bit chill already... i just want an answer... an answer and explain from you... i hope to solve this thing As soon as possible... no matter what will be the final decision... i wan it get solved... rather than like this... stand out but not avoiding...

~~v1nc3nt90

Fuck YOU!!!

I really get angry because both of you!!!
Because of what you all did... Made me really really angry...
Really... I am disappointed with you all...
If you all really wanna be so mean...
Don't worry... I can be more MEAN than you all...
I wouldn't forget this...
I am so stupid...
Until now only i realized and saw...
Should find it out earlier...
Then i wouldn't be so stupid to post all those post earlier...
Last word for you all...
FUCK OFF!!!

p.s. i think you all can really become a very good couple... may be the "century best couple" tim...

~~v1nc3nt90